Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My Spectacular Fall

Last week I had an accident.

I was in a hurry to get to school to pick up the cherubs. Of course, because I was in a hurry, I had to park about a mile and a half from school. Perfect.

So I was walking - fast. And in front of me there was a man. With a toupe. A really really really bad toupe. Like the worst toupe you have ever seen.

I just don't understand toupes. I know you don't want to be bald, but don't you realize that wearing a toupe only calls attention to the fact that you ARE bald, and are covering that fact up with a very bad hunk of fur? Men out there - this is not a good idea.

So I was walking, minding my own business and slightly obsessing about the horrificness of the toupe on the gentleman in front of me.

And then it happened. I fell.

My foot hit a small grouping of rocks on the sidewalk, and I lost all control of my limbs. I mean all control. On a small bunch of rocks.

On my way down I screamed "What the hell!" And then I hit the ground. Hard.

But being the extremely self conscious gal that I am, right after I screamed "What the hell?" I also screamed "Nobody better have seen this!" and hopped onto my feet in about two milliseconds. Really fast. Miraculously, there was not a soul in sight. Not even toupe guy. No one. There really is a god.

As I continued my walk to school I assessed the damage to myself. My palms were ripped open, my elbow was already showing signs of a bruise, and we won't even get into my ego. But the worst part was my neck. One minute after "the fall" it was already bad. Very bad.

Upon arriving at school and seeing everyone I knew, I calmly said "I just fell. Do you have any Advil?" Thank goodness my friend Lori was there to rescue me. And everyone gathered 'round to make sure I was ok. I was laughing on the outside, but you know how humiliating a good fall can be.

I came home and spent three hours with the heating pad laying on the floor. All is well now, but man, it hurt. Falls suck.


Jennifer said...

That just sucks.

I fell down my back stairs last winter so I know exactly how you feel. I had a huge bruise on my rear end, but I was really glad no one was there to witness my graceful acrobatics.

Krissa said...

I hope your bruises and ego are all better now. Do you remember when I was working at the bank in Milford, I was late running out the door in my stunning polyester uniform-suit thing, and I fell doen the brick steps... I ran up to your room CRYING and called in sick to work! Ugh, falling sucks bigtime!

Kevin said...

Jen fell last week and fractured her ankle. No driving for a month. 4 kids all going to various things..life has become a chore